What I’d really vote for in the Mayoral elections.

I like riding my bike. My bike doesn’t particularly like me – it only has two gears that work, and I got a flat tyre on my way to the supermarket yesterday – but hey, it’s got to live with me. Living in Muswell Hill, however, proves rather problematic for our relationship – if I want to go anywhere further than either a) East Finchley station or b) my friend Lottie’s house, then there are some quite serious hills to contend with.

Yesterday I thought to myself, I’ll cycle over to Hampstead. Three-quarters of the way up Bishops Avenue on my way to Hampstead, I got off my bike and walked to the Spaniards.

It’s a basic problem of too many hills. If I wanted to cycle to Camden – approximately 5 miles – I would go down three hills (including one rather long and steep one, from Highgate down to Archway) and up one, as well. Hampstead, too, involves two hills, despite being roughly the same height as Muswell Hill. North London is very, very hilly.

Avoiding the notion that perhaps I just need to suck it up and keep doing it until my legs are strong enough, what about CYCLING BYPASSES? You know – “devices which allow some people to drive from point A to point B very fast whilst other people dash from point B to point A very fast”. That’d get more people on their bikes, just two lanes going there and back, with exits at various intervals. Perhaps Muswell Hill to Swiss Cottage, with an exit at Hampstead. Certainly Muswell Hill to Highgate. All these places which are vaguely the same height but are hindered by the down-a-hill-up-a-hill problem when working one’s way between the two, and aren’t serviced by the Parkland Walk (see: Highgate-Crouch End-Finsbury Park).

All other route suggestions welcome. I am sure that with this plan I have finally hit the intellectual target often known in life as “genius”, and if all of the pro-cycling mayoral election candidates adopted it as a last minute policy…well, I would expect a very large sum. That’s all I’m saying.

Tags: bishops avenue, cycle bypasses, cycling, hampstead, hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, mayoral election, muswell hill